Regret

Growing up as a child, you don't take the time to ask yourself "will this comment or action come back to haunt me?" Nope. We go right on being sassy, talking back, misbehaving, not doing what we were told, etc.

So this week (Dec 2 to be exact) marks the 10th anniversary of my mother's death. I am sad that she is no longer here but elated that she is with her parents and brothers and sisters in heaven.

As I look back upon my relationship with her, I know I did and said things that hurt her. For this I take full responsibility and ask God and my mother to forgive me. I also ask God to help ME forgive myself!!

Regret is such an ugly thing and it lives with you forever--basically until death do you part. Unless, of course, you can get counseling and see your way through it.

But here's the tough part. Trying to share this lesson with the kids. You can tell them over and over to do right, obey your parents, take care of them, let them know they are loved, keep them close, and don't let the sun go down on you being mad. Do they listen? Some do and most don't. They know it all. I would ask--if they know it all, how come we still have homeless people, the national debt is huge and there isn't world peace????????

When Mom died, my siblings were there minus one. Elizabeth chose not to come. This is something that she will have to live with and come to terms with. Does she have any regrets as it deals with Mom? I'm sure she does.

Do you have any regrets? If you do, please make them right... Once that person is gone, there's no more opportunity to make it right and you will carry that weight around with you. I know. For years after her death, I would beat myself up for one incident that happened when I was 16. I will always remember this and will always feel the hurt Mom must have felt. I can only say I'm sorry and try to forgive myself.

You know that saying (Mom's always right). Mom's are usually 98% right about things and the other 2% wrong is only because we didn't have all the information to make a right decision. So, moral of the story is: take care of your relationships. Do right by them and let people know they are loved by you.

Mom, I dedicate this to you. Thank you for raising me like you did, for the sacrifices you made for us, and I hope to see you walking the streets of gold when my time comes.

Love, Barb