In a matter of weeks, it will be 10 years since my mother died. Dec 2, 1999 at 5:30am. It was bitter sweet. My relationship with her was a love/hate one. Depending on the day, decided which it was.
Mom was always working 3 jobs to keep a roof over our heads as Dad left when I was six years old. We didn't have much. We got our shoes resoled every August in time for the new school year. We visited the cousins to see what they had that we could wear.
There was always a list of things that needed to be done left on the table. We were disciplined with the back of the hand. We worked to survive.
It's not until your parent dies that your true feelings and regrets come to the surface.
Dad died at 51 when I was 14. With Mom gone, you realize you're all alone. You no longer have a parent. You go into stores and see Moms with their older children and you're actually envious that they have a mom and you don't.
Lesson here: Don't let pride get in the way of having a good relationship with your parent. Treat them with dignity and respect. They aren't stupid. They have come all their lives on their own resources. Don't belittle them because they are getting older and sometimes forgetful. And don't treat them like they're stupid. They know what you're doing.
Where did we get off knowing or thinking that as our parents get older and we do too, that we are better or more knowledgeable than them. After all, they were here first and did everything first and paved the way first.
Mom, you would have been 90. I miss you. I hope you're well and happy. Please forgive me for all the stupid things I did and said and the many times I hurt you. I love you.....
Your daughter, Barbara
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