You know, I've just about been through it all. My parents fought like cats and dogs throwing things at each other and all we could do was duck. I was abused and have little memories of my childhood. I was mugged on the Army base where I was stationed. Lost a child, have had three mini strokes (each one getting stronger), have suffered from insomnia for 14 years, suffer from chronic pain, and have arthritis in my neck, spine, hands, knees and feet. Lesson #1: All these things can be overcome and yes, you can have a great life!!
But one day while visiting a friend in the hospital, I asked the wife to join me outside for coffee (she looked like she needed a break). As we sat at the table she asked me how I was doing and I proceeded to tell her. Then I turned the tables and found out about her and her health issues.....wow!!! Did I feel selfish!! Lesson #2: Someone always has it worse than you!
In 1991 my chronic chest pains started and it really made me stop and re-evaluate life. My dad had died at 51 and I was only 38!! I had three beautiful children and God said, Barb, start living and appreciating life, see my handiwork all around and in everything--I did it for you. Lesson #3: Take time to look at life--all of it!!
God made each of us the way HE wanted us to be. Therefore, being God, he really did know what he was doing when he made me like me, my husband like him, my children who they are and my neighbors like they are. My sister use to tell me "God created us differently so we would be unique but just enough alike to get along". Lesson #4: Variety is the spice of life. People are the spices of life. Indulge and enjoy!!!
p.s. I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. Because my sisters are not quite like their siblings, they are not included with the rest of the family. Sad isn't it? This happens more often than you may think. Moral: You are not to judge, that responsibility is given to ONE person and it isn't you!!!!
People are continually rushing here and there. On their lunch hours, they may be doing errands so they can go straight home to the family. They may be rushing home to change clothes, pick up kids and go off to something at school. In any case, we're ALL busy!!! Lesson #5: Take time to look around you at the world. Did you see the sun setting? Did you see the awesome display of art in the sky as you drove to work? Ever wonder how that happens?
I use to be one of those who never thought about being a stay at home person. What would I do. I often wondered what stay at home moms did. In 1997 I was given the opportunity by my husband to be just that. What would I do? Well, I can tell you it was a transition. After about 6 months, my husband asked me if I was enjoying staying at home. I told him, I don't know how I worked and did everything I was doing. If you think that just because someone is a stay-at-home mom or they're unemployed, that they're doing nothing--think again!!! Beds still need to be made, laundry needs to be done, groceries bought, dinners prepared, dusting, vaccuuming....it all takes time. Lesson #6: If you have someone cooking your dinner for you, doing your laundry, buying your groceries so you don't have to, please be appreciative. They could probably use an ada boy or girl.
I'm a gardener and for years my family all wondered when it would stop. Why would you want to stop something that brings you so much joy?!?!??!? Sure, it's work...but in the end, it's a labor of love. Weeding is therapuetic and gives me a sense of accomplishment. It gives me time to be alone with my thoughts, talk and maybe hear from God, work through problems, and pray. But seeing the things that He created and when they come into bloom, you can't help but stand there in awe! Did you know that the petals on a daisy are not all the same? Did you know that impatiens may look dainty but are actually very strong. Once planted, you just water and leave alone --they'll do the rest. Did you know that dandelions have two times each year when they will flower? Lesson #7: Really, take time to smell the roses, look at the flowers, play in the grass and roll in the leaves.
For the first three years of marriage I was told I was sterile. No birth control and no children. One morning, I was getting ready for work, had my uniform on and started out the door and that feeling came over me and I ran back for the bathroom. Upon visiting the doctor, he told me my rabbit had died. I didn't have a rabbit!!! He told me I was pregnant. I can't be, I'm infertile. Nine months later, a beautiful blue eyed, blonde hair little girl came into my life. I didn't know what to think or do with her. But she was my best effort. I know have three daughters and two step daughters. They have given me 6 grandsons (all in a row)!!! I try to make sure we see them as time and schedules permit. Upon leaving town and returning, I'm ready for a grandbaby fix. If God wanted us to go through life alone, would he have given us that gift of reproducing? Of finding love? Lesson #8: Really, you've heard it a million times, FAMILY IS IMPORTANT. All of your family. Not just the ones you like, or the ones you get along with but all of them.
After years of being who I wanted to be, God took charge and started changing me into who He wanted me to be. This was easy but created some issues for me. I learned and changed a lot. The little things that use to stress me no longer concerned me as much. Some examples: my house NOW can be clean, can be tidy and doesn't need to be spotless. If something is hanging from the ceiling or rolling around on the floor and it bothers you, do something about it! When something is spilled, guess what? It can be wiped up. Flexibility is the name of the game. Rolling along and being ready to help out. Enjoying the ride and not complaining about the bumps. Lesson #9: Enjoy life and those in it. The voice of my grandson Tucker, coming in the house and taking off his coat, seeing the Christmas tree and exclaiming "Mom, there's a christmas tree!" It was said with the innocence and delight of a child. We should all strive for that.
We didn't have a dog when I was growing up. My oldest had three labs. I wasn't too much of a dog person until they came to live with me. It only took me several days before I found myself getting up early so I could take them out to potty and play with them. These three dogs taught me an important lesson. They were all labs but all had special personalities. But they all got along and played with each other and enjoyed each other. I found out that having a dog is probably one of the best things in life (besides chocolate and grandbabies). They are the ONLY thing that will love you unconditionally. Your husband, mother, sister, friend, cousin, basically a human being cannot do that.
My husband realized after Bear Bear left us that I needed a dog. The dog gave me a peaceful state of mind, I seemed more relaxed and was able to deal with my pain better. So in Jan, 2009 we purchased a yorkie/llahsa mix. Weighing in at 4.5 lbs she was adorable. It didn't take long (oh not more than an hour) that she had made her way into our hearts and our bed. This dog was sent to us from above. He gave us the perfect dog at the right time. She has kept us entertained, knows when I'm feeling bad, will keep my side of the bed warm, likes to cuddle up to me pushing me and my husband off the bed, loves to play fetch, loves to play ball in the snow and loves to ride with her head out the window. She's amazing and giving. She's our Mitzee. Lesson #10: Unconditional love is hard to find, hard to give but always welcomed. Love is awesome when used appropriately and given freely. Try it, you might like it.
My last words of wisdom: Expect nothing, you'll never be disappointed. You get something you weren;t looking for, and you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Merry Christmas to one and all. I challenge everyone that this Christmas feeling, the time when we want to be better people, help more, give more etc. Keep this feeling all year round, every single day and reap the rewards.
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