Dear Mom
Today is Mother's Day and another year without you. So many things to say so here goes.
Mom, I'm sorry. While growing up, we didn't make things easy for you. You were trying to raise the last four kids on your own and work and keep a roof over our heads on one income.
It is only NOW that I realize what you were going through and what you were feeling. The desperation you must have felt when not having enough money to pay all the bills. How tired you were after coming home from the third job. How much pain you were in from all your medical problems. I'm sorry I didn't understand back then.
I'm sorry that I said hurtful things to you. I'm sorry for the times I disappointed you because I thought of myself first instead of you. I'm sorry that our relationship wasn't the best.
I know now that when I acted up, it stressed you out even more. How thoughtless of me.
I know now that you did love us in your own way. The extra hours of working so we could have skating lessons.
I know now that you worked hard for us, gave all that you could for us and I'm sorry I didn't appreciate it then, but I see better now.
I'm appreciative for the way you handled the car accident and you didn't yell at me. Really grateful for that!!!
All in all, I see my childhood better and although a difficult one, I see and know more things that make me feel better.
I know now how you felt when we all got married and moved away. Lonely.
I know now that you were a strong woman, working tirelessly for us. Your determination and grit were passed on to us, thank you.
The kids are doing ok, more beautiful babies coming, Martin working lots and hard, everyone married now.
I'm doing good...carrying on with the medical issues. Trying not to let them get me down or impact me when I'm around people. The garden looks good.
Till next year Mom.
Love Barb
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